Framing Your Way Out of Contradictions

In my previous article, I discussed the fallacy of the Fool’s Choice, in which people consider potential courses of action in terms of only two either-or options rather than stepping back and seeing the myriad choices available to them.  Organizational leaders who regularly fall prey to the Fool’s Choice severely limit their range of action and lock themselves into rigid patterns of thought and behavior. In the worst case, they view all situations through a single either-or lens (e.g., “you’re either with me or against me”).

The Fool’s Choice is an example of how framing can lead us astray. Framing is a linguistic device in which words conjure up certain images that affect how we react to a topic. For example, you may hear the word “friend” and immediately see in your mind a person you can call anytime to share your secrets and vent your frustrations, secure in the knowledge that that person won’t use your words against you later.  If you then encounter someone who asserts that it’s possible for a person’s boss to also be his “friend,” you may well disagree, on the grounds that it wouldn't be appropriate to open up to your boss the same way you would open up to your mentally pictured friend. Your conclusion: “You can be either a friend or a boss, but not both.”

But this isn’t the only way to frame the word “friend.” It can also mean a colleague whom you respect and with whom you can talk shop. It can mean someone who frequents the same Starbucks as you and with whom you’ve struck up a couple of conversations. And it can simply mean someone with whom you are friendly. If you use one of these alternative frames, you can see that the “friend” concept and the “boss” concept need not be regarded as inherently incompatible polar opposites at all.

While getting caught in a single (and often unconscious) frame can lead to the Fool’s Choice, being open to the multiple alternatives for framing a situation is one of the most powerful ways to resolve (seeming) contradictions. In the example above, rather than just reacting to your own framing of the “friend” concept, you can step back and ask what the other person meant when he asserted that a boss can be a friend. His answer may help you instantly reframe the entire conversation into one of agreement rather than disagreement – and show you that the seeming contradiction of the “Friendly Boss” is in fact not so contradictory after all.