Presence as a Core Skill

In recent articles, I’ve been describing the core skills that are essential for any organizational performer, at any level of the organization:

·         Influence– The ability to “move” others to think or act in a certain way.

·         Openness– Receptivity to multiple perspectives, opinions, possibilities, and ideas.

·         Analysis– The ability to think critically, using facts and objective measures to make decisions.

Today I’d like to look at a fourth core skill that everybody needs to possess to ensure individual and organizational success. I call this skill Presence.

You can think of Presence as a stair-climbing process that occurs during any interaction with another person. Step One is recognizing one’s own thoughts and feelings and understanding the triggers (or “hot buttons”) that can prompt them.

So far so good for most (though not all) people. It’s Step Two – managing their reactions to their thoughts and feelings – that can start to make the staircase slippery. Instead of choosing appropriate reactions, many people act as if they’re victims of circumstance – the “circumstance” being those inner thoughts and feelings that give rise to uncontrollable knee-jerk responses.

But how to judge what constitutes more appropriate responses? This is Step Three – sensing how one’s actions are impacting or could impact other people.  This is often called the ability to “read” others, drawing on such signals as tone of voice, word choice, and body language to gauge what the other is likely experiencing. Step Three can be another stumbling block for many people, especially those who overfocus on themselves or fail to pick up on social cues.

Even a person who ascends this far can fail to navigate Step Four – sustaining his interactions with the other person in order to achieve an outcome that meets the needs of both of them. For example, a person trying to influence another may recognize his own negative feelings toward a resistant prospect (Step One),  manage his actions to keep them positive (Step Two), and sense that his “pitch” is working better but still isn’t having the desired persuasive effect (Step Three).  However, at this point he may be stymied as to what alternative approach to take next to overcome the lingering resistance (Step Four). Successful navigation of Step Four requires follow-through and finesse in order to bring the entire interaction to a mutually satisfying resolution.

What does this all have to do with Presence? The whole process described above takes place almost instantaneously, simultaneously, with few seams showing to denote the transitions. In fact, Step

Four itself is essentially a constant cycling through Steps One, Two, and Three – and not always in that order. Being able to keep up with the ever-shifting dynamics of the interaction requires a person to be relentless about staying in the here and now – that is, to be fully present during every second of the interaction.

How can a professional-skills curriculum teach “Presence 101”? Very simply – because the process I describe above is essentially describing the Emotional Intelligence (EI) model.  Grounding all organizational members in the basic skills of Emotional Intelligence can create a shared language and common awareness of the importance of not reflexively acting on our emotions but instead managing our responses in order to create positive, mutually beneficial outcomes for all. The foundational Emotional Intelligence skills can then be built upon in later programs in the curriculum, especially to teach the Step Four skills that will help people learn to sustain their EI skills in different contexts (sales, negotiation, coaching, influencing, etc.) with deftness and aplomb.