In my previous post, I described the improv concepts of Offer and Acceptance. One time while I was conducting a Leadership class, I saw a powerful example of the importance of balancing these two ways of “acting.”
At one point in the class, the participants played the Earthquake game, in which subteams had to rank-prioritize a list of actions they would take if trapped inside a building after a strong quake. The activity isn’t so much about getting the correct answer as it is about seeing how the team members interact while discussing and deciding upon their rankings.
As I watched one subteam conduct a go-round for final agreement on its rankings, I noticed one team member hesitate, look down, and then say, “Yeah, I agree – I guess.”
In most meetings I’ve ever observed, this usually passes for consensus (usually driven by a strong Offeror rattling off a rapid-fire “OK, everyone good? Ya good? Great, let’s move on!”). But to his credit, this subteam’s leader instantly seized on the speaker’s hesitation and said, “You don’t sound like you agree.”
And to the other’s credit, he didn’t just take the typical Acceptor course (“No, I’m - fine”) but began restating his rationale for disagreeing with the subteam’s rankings.
And then, amazingly, like something out of Twelve Angry Men (and these were all males), the other subteam members were persuaded to change their minds one-by-one.
This struck me as a perfect example of the give-and-take Offer-and-Acceptance needed for effective team performance, whether onstage or in the meeting room. Team members (and particularly the leader) must provide space for team interaction and be ready to accept what others can contribute, but each team member in turn must take the accountability to offer those contributions. Team members must meet each other halfway, somewhere in the middle (and I'll resist the urge to draw any more parallels with Dunkin’ Donuts!).
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