WAITing to Be a Great Coach

Being a great coach is all about asking powerful questions, listening intently for the answers, and following up with even more powerful (and usually improvised) questions. Your role in coaching is, not to try to give the coachee the answers, but to stimulate his thinking so that he can come up with his own answers.

The goal of coaching is to facilitate the coachee's process of self-discovery. Rather than be led to answers, people generally prefer to lead themselves to their own answers - a process that results in better commitment and engagement, a better development experience, and better solutions.

Throughout the coaching conversation, the coach should continually focus on opportunities to ask rather than tell - even if that means restraining an urge to rush right in with advice, suggestions, and directives. This can be difficult for many (especially new) leader-coaches, since their past experience may have rewarded them for actions that involve taking the reins and asserting their authority and influence over others.

One indication that may help you judge any natural tendency you may have to maintain a control orientation in coaching: During a coaching conversation, what percentage of time are you doing the talking? The coach's voice really ought to be heard only about 20%-30% of the time during the coaching session. The coachee is really the one who should be "on stage" during the typical session - after all, it's the coachee's thoughts, ideas, and perspectives that need to be put in the spotlight.

If you find yourself dominating coaching sessions, you might try a powerful acronym called WAIT! In your next session, try to take note of times that your voice is being heard more than the coachee's. Then ask yourself "WAIT" - which stands for "Why Am I Talking?"

The more you can WAIT as a coach - even if it means learning to become comfortable with a little silence while the coachee thinks about a response - the better you'll be able to avoid upstaging the coachee, and the more you can stay in the role of supportive side coach.