Be Here NOW!

In my previous article, I described how Ellen Langer’s research into the topic of mindfulness squares with the YES! Leader’s ExploreFlexSupport model. I noted how Langer’s definition of mindfulness (“Seeing the novelty in every situation”) corresponds to the YES! Leader’s practice of Exploring new opportunities, Flexing his behavior to meet the needs of current situations, and Supporting others by seeing each person as having unique developmental needs. By doing this, the YES! Leader avoids taking a rigid one-size-fits-all approach to leadership that prizes adherence to the status quo and keeps a tight grip on the controls at all times.

In addition to exploring, flexing, and supporting, the YES! Leader must reflect two foundational behaviors that come into play in any situation – and that also synch up well with Langer’s mindfulness concept. I refer to these as the NOW! and the WOW! I’ll focus on the first of these behaviors in this article and cover the second one next time.

The NOW! In order to be mindful, the YES! Leader must be fully present as she interacts with her environment. Given the rush of events of any typical organizational day, it can be difficult for the YES! Leader to put the past and the future out of her mind so that she can focus on the people and events immediately in front of her.  But just as the best performance improvisers develop the skill of listening fiercely to their onstage partners, so must the YES! Leader treat each encounter as the most important in the world at that moment.

And listening must go beyond just hearing what is being said. The YES! Leader must also be alert to how it is being said, using cues such as body language, nuances of speech, tone of voice, and other indicators of meaning. And not only that: She also must pick up on what is not being said, what’s falling between the lines.

Being fully present in the NOW! involves more than just passively receiving input. The YES! Leader must complement her listening with behaviors that encourage the other to talk, that check her understanding of what she’s hearing, and that gather more information by means of questioning.

All of this can be a tall order. But it’s essential if the YES! Leader is going to get a full view of the situation – what makes it similar to past situations, but also what makes it unique – so she can use the most appropriate Exploring, Flexing, and/or Supporting responses for that situation.

REFLECTIONS FOR THE YES! LEADER

There are many different activities the YES! Leader can conduct with his team to help develop and reinforce the skill of staying in the NOW! One that I particularly like is called Quiz Show.

In Quiz Show, a team member (the Teller) gives a three-minute talk on an experience he’s had or a topic of interest to him, preferably one not related to work (for example, making deep-fried turkey, or meeting a famous celebrity). While the Teller speaks, another team member plays the role of Listener, and the remaining team members play the role of Quizmasters. At the end of three minutes, each Quizmaster will ask the Listener a question regarding details of the Teller’s story, and score will be kept as to the number of right answers. The roles are then rotated among the team members until everyone has played the role of Teller and Listener. The Listener who answers the most questions correctly wins.

The Quizmasters are encouraged to ask the most detailed questions possible and to be as literal as possible when scoring. For example, a Teller might start her story as follows: “I was trudging to my gate at Reagan National Airport in DC on a cold December evening when I noticed a huge long line at the checkpoint winding around the security ropes like a big accordion.” Based on this sentence, possible questions could include:

·         In what month did this happen? (December)

·         Was it snowing? (she didn’t say)

·         At what part of the day did this happen? (evening) [NOTE: “night” would be incorrect]

·         She didn’t say she was “walking” to her gate – what did she say instead? (trudging)

As a variation, you can have the Listener practice listening and communicating at an even deeper level by having her ask the Teller questions that go beyond the bare facts contained in the Teller’s story. For example, after she gets her score on the quiz, the Listener could ask the Teller questions such as:

·         How did you feel when you saw the long line?

·         What do you like the most about flying? The least?

·         If you could change one thing about the flying experience, what would it be?