In my last post, I described the connection between the "Yes And" concept and the positions-interests distinction described in the book Getting to Yes.
Not long ago, I ran across a more recent book that, like Getting to Yes, emerged from the Harvard Negotiation Project. Difficult Conversations made an even more explicit connection between “Yes And” and the process of conflict resolution. Difficult Conversations describes a common dynamic in disputes: The attitude of “I’m right and you’re wrong”! that lies at the heart of practically every Position-based dispute. The antidote for this attitude is the adoption of what the book calls the “And Stance.”
The “And Stance” says that, rather than assuming that you have only one choice in a dispute – either accept or reject the other’s “story” – you can embrace both your own story and the other’s story. The other person may have done something insensitive, and you may have contributed in important ways to the problem as well. You can feel furious with them, and you can also feel respect and appreciation for them. Their idea may be crazy and impractical, and it just might work!
Ultimately, the “And Stance” permits you to say: “I’m right and you’re right!” - that is, we both have a piece of the truth in our respective possessions. With that understanding, we can then move on to a much more useful question than “Who’s right?”, namely: “Now that we really understand where we’re coming from, what’s a good way to move forward?”
As F. Scott Fitzgerald wrote in his book The Crack-Up: “The test of a first-rate intelligence is the ability to hold two opposed ideas in the mind at the same time and still retain the ability to function.” Certainly improv performers use their mental prowess to do this all the time via “Yes And” – and in fact anyone embroiled in a difficult conversation can use the “And Stance” as a way to Acknowledge the Person, Accept the Possibilities, and Advance with Positive Purpose.
Nice blog Jerry. The word improv (and improvisation) is still being defined in the work space. It is often thought of as comedy (as in the Improv Comedy Club in NYC). And the work space can be comic (the hit tv show The Office) ...but generally people who hire workers want to generate income .... and that is more often associated with hard work than fun.
ReplyDeleteIn today's rapidly changing landscape being adaptable is a necessity not a luxury.
Thanks for your comment, Weem! Yes, I think there are many preconceptions to overcome when we talk about improvisation in organizations. One interesting wrinkle here is that the military has no problem with the term "improvise" - and what else did Sully Sullenberger do but improvise, in the sense of applying rules of thumb and drawing on his training to adapt to a volatile situation? Yet business organizations in general still seem to treat improvisation/improv as something frivolous (when they think of it at all), rather than seeing it as synonomous with adaptability and flexibility.
ReplyDeleteIn my next post, I'll talk a bit more about the military-improvisation connection. Again, thanks for your input.